'DWTS': Tuesday's Elimination... Melissa, Roshon, Gladys... Who Goes?

Oh, thank heavens for the joys of a DVR. After watching Monday's two-hour Dancing With The Stars Motown Week live, I can safely say I shall never endure that painful ordeal again. So now... Tuesday's elimination, thankfully pre-recorded, as I fast forward (FF) through the hype and 2389749802375 commercials.

Let's see if Melissa Gilbert and Roshon Fegan are dutifully booted, or whether poor Gladys Knight, sweet as she is, or the generic no-name Maria Menounos are kicked to the curb for not maintaining the moves. We're getting down to the real competition at this point!

With mini pepperoni pizzas and a crisp salad with homemade Thousand Island dressing by my side, let's get through this madness... and see how my main man William Levy ends up among the eight remaining couples.

So here's where we're starting from last night: Katherine & Mark/39. Jaleel & Kym/37. William & Cheryl/36. Donald & Peta/34. Maria & Derek/30. Melissa & Maks/30. Roshon & Chelsie/28. Gladys & Tristan/24. Aw, man, it so doesn't look good for Gladys Knight, huh?

They're beginning the elimation... and William is in the first three...  SAFE! And we interrupt this program for a rather uninspired performance from Natasha Bedingfield... and more commercials on each side. FF... FF...Oh, god, what the hell is happening now? Some sort of ethereal acid trip for Cirque du Soleil?? FF... More commercials... FF... And now Boys II Men performing. My god, they're ollllld dudes now! FF... And now, 38 minutes in, we're reviewing last night... Katherine is safe. What a surprise... Blah, blah, blah... And now—surprise—a commercial break to see who's "in jeopardy. Which two couples will have to dance to save themselves?" FF...

And now, 44 minutes into the damn show, we're discovering who's bottoming out... And... Melissa Gilbert is somehow safe! Really? It has to be because her partner Maks is so hot, right? Maria the generic gal... safe... And that leaves Roshon and Gladys in the bottom two... who were among my suspected. Now they have to "duel" with a simultaneous Jive dance... 55 minutes in! Watching the two couples, Roshon is pretty loose tonight. I think it's pretty clear that Gladys is saying good night...

And at last (58 minutes in)... the contestant that exits (in a split judges' decision)... is Gladys Knight. Hey, girlfriend gave it a great run. Meanwhile, the camera just cut to William hugging Roshon, which is about the most adorable thing I've seen this season... And what a perfect time to say farewell to another (long) week. Thank you, Tivo! *