Here's William Levy's Monday Performance On 'DWTS'!

Tuesday night the first contestant was eliminated from Season 14 of ABC's Dancing With The Stars. Who was drop kicked... stand by!
Any doubt who the cast favorite is? Here's a poll from gay webbie Homorazzi... and heaven knows we gays are on the pulse of pop culture, right? *

William Levy On ABC's 'Good Morning America'

The mainstream press continues to court its new sex symbol. Here's a profile of William Levy's Dancing With The Stars fame, a la Good Morning America. *

Tonight: Week Two of William Levy On 'Dancing With The Stars'!

Tonight, March 26, is the second episode of Season 14's Dancing With The Stars, starring William Levy. Our man certainly made a splash last week swaying his hips with partner Cheryl Burke as the audience erupted into near-orgasmic screams.

That means the pressure is on this week, as the couple prepares for its "quickstep" routine Monday. Burke told TV Guide, "It's tough because everyone started earlier on their second dances because they had the full three weeks, so we're really working hard to make sure it's as perfect as can be."

She added that the two are focusing on Will's technique: "I think everyone knows he can do the Latin dances and move his hips, but he needs to be able to do both styles of dances. This week will be crucial for everyone. I think some people may be better in Latin than ballroom and vice versa. Normally, you know the first few who might go, but we have no idea this season. Tuesday's gonna be so nerve-wracking."

Although the judges seemed to adore her last week, my money is still on exactly what I stated last week: Despite scoring the highest, contestant Katherine Jenkins looks like a Barbie doll... and her performance left me non-plussed. If the audience has any say, she needs to go first. In any case, I cannot wait to see Will in action. At last... The Nun's Sexiest Man Alive is a nationwide sensation.

Press Is Having A Fine Time Discovering William Levy's Charms

The mainstream press is all over William Levy, following his triumphant debut on this week's Dancing With the Stars Season 14 premiere. In addition to uncovering all kinds of age-old dirt, pics of Will half nude and other such nonsense that we've known about for years, webbies are falling over themselves with the good shit: How hot he is.

Starpulse.com offers, "The war is on—not just for best dancer, but for biggest hunk. There’s no doubt that the so-called Latin Brad Pitt won the competition for most amount of screams on Monday’s Dancing with the Stars, but on Wednesday William Levy and Derek Hough brought out the big guns: their biceps to those of you who don’t hang out at a gym." Ruff! I have a feeling we're going to be seeing a lot more of this. Bring it on. *

'Dancing With The Stars' Premiere: William Levy!

Okay, so I didn't quite make it through the Season 14 premiere of ABC's Dancing With The Stars during its (endless) premiere Monday. I was catching up with my fave new show Good Christian Bitches (GCB) from Sunday, and simply didn't have the mojo to endure two hours of bravado just to witness my William Levy—over the course of one night—become the most talked-about reality contestant in America.

And how. Look at the headlines on Google this morning following the show... "Levy Makes Crowd Go Wild," "Levy has hearts aflutter," his "obsessed female fans," "Levy Smoulders" and "Levy incites near-riot." Don't even ask if I'm surprised... Come on, I've been singing the praises of the Spanish-language telenovela star for three years now. But you cool cats already knew that...

So now, I'm sitting in front of the tele, a distant cry from live-blogging, but bursting to share my observations of the season opener. Mind you, I have never watched this show before: I've never understood the universal appeal of viewing a cast of has-been celebs and pro athletes waltzing in outfits that make TJ Maxx look like Nordstrom. But with Levy, the ante is sky high. Let's go!

8p: "Brand new stars": Jack Wagner, my lord, what happened to your face? Oh, I get it. It's behind 500 slices of the knife. No!... Gavin DeGraw looks like a buffoon wearing that undersized hat. Grow up, indie dude, okay?... "Disney star" Roshon... dunno who he is, but adorable!... Sherri from The View can't even navigate walking down the stairs with her sizable girth; how's she gonna dance? Mercy... Melissa Gilbert looks good for an old broad, but who noticed standing beside her HOT partner Maks, with his six-pack?...

And it's Will Levy!! The way he struts down the stairs is already testosterone-packed. Yummy!... Martina looks fem; how the hell did they do that?... Classical singer Katherine somebody and cute partner Mark!... Gladys Knight looks absolutely fab, so very elegant. Loving her... Jaleel, uh, sorry not ready to take Urkel seriously... Thank god that's over... Time for fries and White Castle burgers!

No way at this early juncture in the season that I'm commenting on each performance... Waiting for Will... Okay, three couples in, I have to ask, is this for real? This is absolutely the gayest shit I have ever seen in my life. On ABC? Logo could have scored itself a name brand with this madness. Jack Wagner in a bow tie dancing like a sweet dandy? I feel like I'm watching The Lawrence Welk Show from the 1970s here... And the judges, with their empty babble: two queens and a Paula Abdul clone, it appears... I dunno how this endured for 14 seasons.

Wow, this is much easier to watch than I suspected—because there's so much damn filler... the post-dance interviews with the "stars," the dragged-out scoring and 500000000000 commercials. This two-hour premiere will be over in 45 minutes. Still waiting for Levy...

This kid Roshon from Disney is remarkable... Wow, what a dancer! Do we think he knows yet that's he's gay? Just Googled... he's 20... I would hope so... Sheri Shepherd... hahahahahahaha... I feel like I'm watching her cute partner spinning a mannequin around the dance floor. How could this woman have so so little rhythm? That was hilarious! Heeeee... And the judges just gave her some of the best praise of the evening... I smell a lottttt of horseshit!...

At last... Here comes William!!! After another 10 or 15 minute commercial break. I can't wait!! I don't know whether to say that his pre-dance footage is adorable or... so so hot! Eek-a-loo, both cool cats! Look at my man in those sweats and that tank. It sure is hot in here for the first day of spring!

OH MY GOD, Will has got the moves! Look at him go! Natural Latin rhythm, sexy as shit, the crowd is ROARING... I am just sitting back taking it all in... I had no idea he was such a natural, truly. This is no easy routine... His hips moving to and fro just scored a 10 in my book. Good googa-mooga, almighty!!!

And now... the judges... First, the queeny queen...He stood up and pronounced, "The hottest package of the season!" And I know what he means. Oh, girl!! Now Paula... blah blah blah... She said all of nothing... And the old queen... "Well done." And next, the scores... 8/8/8... out of 30... the highest score of the night "so far." Oh, please!! That was a 30, if I've ever seen one.

And now... Martina... She comes across as very likeable, huh? I like how she giggles at wearing dance shoes and says, "My biggest insecurity is that I'm just not that feminine. I want to overcome the insecurity; I'm just ready to show a different side of me. I haven't worn a dress in 20 years." And you know what? She looks absolutely amazing... I'm finding a soft spot for Martina... She did all right out there on the floor.

This classical singer Katherine Jenkins looks like a Barbie doll... and her performance is doing absolutely nothing for me. No impact. I feel blank... Oh for god's sake. She just scored the highest points of the night?? 9/8/9? Madness. Honestly, I find her wholly generic. I see this chick blending into the background and not making much of a mark on the viewing audience... She's just, uh, routine, ordinary in my purview.

Now this should be fun: Gladys Knight! Hit it! Oh, lord have mercy, girl, you know exactly what you're doing... And I thought the Pips did all the synchronized dancing! She is ON! Love, love, love me some Gladys! Egads, this queeny judge is making my teeth hurt: "Leddies and geentlemeen, da legend haz got ze moves. You've godd class, you've godd sass, you a-r-r-e a star." Eww.

I must sign out. My morning call is at 6 a.m., and it's time for beddy bye. You better believe I'll be having sweet dreams! William Levy delivered; he is in for the long haul, for sure, for sure, for sure. *

Thanks A Lot: 'Miami Herald' MISQUOTES The Smoking Nun

It's awfully nice being referenced as a source in a national news story—except when you're MIS-referenced. The Miami Herald ran a piece about William Levy's rehearsals for ABC's Dancing With The Stars, referring to a story posted here on The Smoking Nun. The dumbass cub reporter referred to us as The Smoking GUN... that other website that reports celebrity arrests. Thanks for nothing, Herald! I sure would appreciate you adding your two cents to the story's comments, informing them that as a Smoking Nun reader, it would be nice if they credited the correct source. See story here.

William Levy: Odds-On Fave To Win 'DWTS'!

TONIGHT'S THE NIGHT: The World Will Fall In Love With William Levy

You know how when you were a kid and you looooooved R.E.M., the kinda sorta underground alternative band from Athens, Ga.? And then all of a sudden they break into the mainstream with huge 1987 top 40 hit, "The One I Love," and then they are beloved by the world...

And you keep saying, "I knew them first... I loved them when... They were mine before..." And you get all protective and shit...

That's the way I'm feeling at this moment, 30 minutes before the launch of Season 14 of ABC's reality Dancing With The Stars at 8 p.m. tonight. By the end of this evening, the mainstream press is going to be madly in love with The Smoking Nun's Sexiest Man Alive William Levy... and I'll be feeling all haughty, proclaiming again and again, "Hey, remember, you met him here first!"

But you already knew that, right? When you're watching the show, you cool cats are going to say, really loud, to everyone in the room: "That's the guy that The Smoking Nun has been talking about for the past two years... Wow, they really are on top of pop culture..." And then... the kids will be all right... And we'll all share the love as one. Oh, what a beautiful world. *

At Last: William Levy Offers Official 'DWTS' Photo!

William Levy's official portrait with partner Cheryl Burke... at last!

William Levy & Cheryl Burke Begin 'DWTS' Rehearsals

William Levy wasn't around for the formal couple portraits for Season 14 of ABC-TV's Dancing With the Stars, but our Sexiest Man Alive has begun rehearsals in Miami with his dance partner Cheryl Burke. The season premiere takes place in a two-hour event at 8 p.m. Monday, March 19.

Their first routine will be a cha-cha, which I have no doubt will set the dance-floor into flames. No couples are eliminated during the first week of the "reality" competition. Check out an interview with the pair on Miami's ABC-10 website here.
 
Here's an edited version of the news report's accompanying text: With just a week to go before the premiere of DWTS, Miami native & telenovela star William Levy and partner Cheryl Burke are perfecting their moves for his big debut. Burke and Levy rehearsed in South Florida Monday, and now the actor is ready to show off his Latin moves. "She is telling me, 'This is not a dancing club or salsa. This is ballroom,'" Levy said. "It's completely different."

He has been crunching in as many ballroom moves as he can. "For the premiere, we have one dance, a cha-cha, and no one gets eliminated," said Burke, who won with Drew Lachey in the show's second season and with retired football star Emmitt Smith in season three. "What makes the show so interesting is the time crunch and the stress and to see if you are going to have chemistry." Levy added, "This is cool. This is something new in my life, in my career, so as long as you do something for fun and you have fun doing it."

And cool cats, let's not forget Will's stunning smile, perfecto bod—and from what we see here, an absolutely divine behind. May the best man win (no, that would not be Urkel). *

William Levy Gains Mainstream Momentum As 'DWTS' Prepares Launch

As momentum builds for Smoking Nun idol William Levy's competitive appearance on the 14th season of ABC reality series Dancing With The Stars (which launches at 8 p.m. Monday, March 19th) our Sexiest Man Alive is at last garnering plenty of mainstream press—that is, two years after The Smoking Nun began singing his praises.

Good Morning America talked to some of the cast in a 5-½-minute video, including Will's dance partner Cheryl Burke, who referred to our guy as "the hottest piece of you know what" in DWTS history.

Oh, wait, you mean ass, right, girl? Well, that's certainly a start: Let's add those beautiful teeth, perfect face, enviable abs and overall ideal demeanor to that, shall we? As I've mentioned before, this will be the first time I've been able to bear this inexplicably enduring show... though I have to admit, watching Martina Navratilova in a pair of high heels could be giddy fun. *